Most women, including me, brag about how beautiful a phase is motherhood...what a special feeling it is.. how we have evolved as a person, how we have become more patient and caring and frankly blah blah blah...
But there's something that bothers me....
I think we all are, irrespective of being male or female, endowed with the capability of feeling 'motherhood'. But yes, it is spectacular to actually feel another living creature, borne of your own passion and fruit (quite literally), ticking inside of you. And without conflict, women are blessed because they can touch and feel this experience, thanks to the several biological changes they undergo, during the process of motherhood. It is much more difficult for men, because they dont really change physically to accomodate parenthood, but yes, that's why when you see them experience it, its very special.
So ok, I hear ya, what's the dispute? But the birthing process itself doesnt make you a "Mother India". Motherhood really ought to hit you, not just when your child calls you "Momma", but actually when you see any child. You should actually feel the familiar stirring, when you see any child of any age, colour and sex.
My inspiration to write this is a special woman who I was not particularly close with, from many many years ago. Back then, I used to commute in a van in Chennai and there were 2 married women who used to get off last from the van. One of them was a young mother with a kid and was expecting her second one and one day she lost her wallet and she couldn't remember where and so she checked with the driver, a very young lad, the next day, if he'd seen it. He didnt have a clue and said he didnt see anything and the matter seemed settled. However after the incident, we saw a visible change in the driver. Previously a punctual, neatly dressed and soft spoken chap, after this incident, he started behaving a little weird and started singing songs loudly and used to be late and got into fights with the owner often, who also used to travel with us. One day he came drunk and he missed bumping the vehicle twice and since it was only women in the van, we stopped the vehicle midway, asked him to get off and demanded an explanation. This lad just ignored us all, went to this woman, broke down into tears and said "Madam I didnt take your purse, I havent even seen it". This woman was taken aback, took her time to recover and said "But I had long forgotten it - I believed you". And then he said, "Madam just got the feeling you are still suspecting me", to which she said the most unforgettable lines "See, I am a mother and at my age, I can only see every other person as my own child, I believed you, like I would believe my own son. So please forget about it."
Mind you, she was a young mother in her early thirties and he a boy in his early twenties.., by any equation she really didnt fit the bill as his mother. But thats what motherhood should do to you, to me...what is so great about feeling overwhelming affection for your own..? Motherhood should connect you with a familiarity and an instinct that is deeper and more purile than blood, a feeling that no matter what and who, all children come through this wonderful process, that you so enjoyed and cherished.
When you appreciate the process and loved being a part of it, it does not matter who or whose the product is. Motherhood needs to be that catalyst, just that, the rest is blah blah blah....
But there's something that bothers me....
I think we all are, irrespective of being male or female, endowed with the capability of feeling 'motherhood'. But yes, it is spectacular to actually feel another living creature, borne of your own passion and fruit (quite literally), ticking inside of you. And without conflict, women are blessed because they can touch and feel this experience, thanks to the several biological changes they undergo, during the process of motherhood. It is much more difficult for men, because they dont really change physically to accomodate parenthood, but yes, that's why when you see them experience it, its very special.
So ok, I hear ya, what's the dispute? But the birthing process itself doesnt make you a "Mother India". Motherhood really ought to hit you, not just when your child calls you "Momma", but actually when you see any child. You should actually feel the familiar stirring, when you see any child of any age, colour and sex.
My inspiration to write this is a special woman who I was not particularly close with, from many many years ago. Back then, I used to commute in a van in Chennai and there were 2 married women who used to get off last from the van. One of them was a young mother with a kid and was expecting her second one and one day she lost her wallet and she couldn't remember where and so she checked with the driver, a very young lad, the next day, if he'd seen it. He didnt have a clue and said he didnt see anything and the matter seemed settled. However after the incident, we saw a visible change in the driver. Previously a punctual, neatly dressed and soft spoken chap, after this incident, he started behaving a little weird and started singing songs loudly and used to be late and got into fights with the owner often, who also used to travel with us. One day he came drunk and he missed bumping the vehicle twice and since it was only women in the van, we stopped the vehicle midway, asked him to get off and demanded an explanation. This lad just ignored us all, went to this woman, broke down into tears and said "Madam I didnt take your purse, I havent even seen it". This woman was taken aback, took her time to recover and said "But I had long forgotten it - I believed you". And then he said, "Madam just got the feeling you are still suspecting me", to which she said the most unforgettable lines "See, I am a mother and at my age, I can only see every other person as my own child, I believed you, like I would believe my own son. So please forget about it."
Mind you, she was a young mother in her early thirties and he a boy in his early twenties.., by any equation she really didnt fit the bill as his mother. But thats what motherhood should do to you, to me...what is so great about feeling overwhelming affection for your own..? Motherhood should connect you with a familiarity and an instinct that is deeper and more purile than blood, a feeling that no matter what and who, all children come through this wonderful process, that you so enjoyed and cherished.
When you appreciate the process and loved being a part of it, it does not matter who or whose the product is. Motherhood needs to be that catalyst, just that, the rest is blah blah blah....
2 comments:
well said da... :D
beautiful Appu...
Post a Comment